That thing

Lauryn Hill is cool. And so smart. On her album, the miseducation of lauryn hill she had a song, "That thing". It played all the time back in the day. I know that song is mostly about men and women playing this game of saying one thing and doing another. Women saying they don't want men to play them but then allow themselves to be played again and again. And then men fighting to have an image, to look hard, knowing they dont have it together. I think the deeper message of the song could just be about how we struggle to pretend that we dont struggle. Like we have it all together when we keep getting knocked ouy by that thing.

I've been talking to people lately, many people. I've been allowed to hear their life long struggles, and do a lot of confronting of my own. I've also been thinking about the Apostle Paul and his thorn in the flesh. If you want to read about it it's in 2 corinthians 12. The thing about the passage though, is that we dont know what it is. We only know that Paul hated it, pleaded for it to be taken away, and God's response was, "my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness."

I think we all have one. Whether it's addiction, sexuality, loneliness, a self doubt, an eating disorder, a relationship dysfunction...when you hear people talk about it, you hear the same phrases. "i begged God to take it away" "i begged God to change me." "i feel so helpless" "i feel out of control"

"That thing, that thing, that thing."

Lauryn might be talking about something specific, But she echos the same message that is found in our hearts when it comes to our specifics, "how you gonna win if you ain't right within?"

Seriously, how ARE you gonna win if you ain't right within? Because, "my grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in weakness."

You see, we arent going to win. And "that thing" is just the direct line shuttle bus to the realization that we are worthless without sufficient grace. And the more we fight that thing, the more it breaks us with failure, the more deeply and quickly we realize that this story isn't our story. The story isnt about us overcoming that thing. The story isn't about that thing at all. The story is about him, and his power being perfected in our weakness. Not despite it. Not in giving myself over to that thing.  Not regardless of it, but in it. From within it.

The sad part is that because we can't overcome that thing, because it's never gotten better, we are afraid of it. We hide it. We let it take us over. We let the enemy use that thing. We dont like to share unfinished stories. We don't like to admit that thing. And God's power and intention for us sits on a shelf. We relinquish power to that thing, instead of to God.

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