14 pages

It took 14 pages to reach one of the purest prayers I have prayed. I feel compelled to share it with you. It could a waste of time to post...it could be arrogance...it could be attention seeking...but I think ultimately it is nothing more than a girl stating the glaringly obvious.

"I'm so done with me lord. I'm so done with me. I'm done trying to make myself what I wish I were. I'm done making myself what other people are okay with. I'm done satisfying whimsical desires. I'm done pleasing others. I'm done even pleasing you. The truth is, I have your love and acceptance. I have your grace to cover my shortcomings. I have your strength to walk forward into whatever situation you have for me. Here, there or someplace other. I cannot fulfill myself. I cannot manufacture happiness. I cannot create peace. I cannot create something out of nothing. I give up. I give up trying to be happy. I give up trying to gain control. I give up trying to stockpile riches. I give up on me.
I give up to you."

Comments

Angelina said…
Omg this is exactly where I am right now!!! I keep saying "stick a fork in me, I'm DONE!!!
maybe we could help eachother through this.... or wallow in the darkness and sadness of it for a while and just eat chocolate and ice cream!!! I have no close friends so maybe having someone to get through This is key!!!
Either way, I will be praying for you. <3
11:41 PM
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