Everyone's Existential Crisis
An existential crisis is a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value.
If you've not been through one, its coming.
It's usually triggered by one of the following 5 things:
~ The sense of being alone and isolated in the world;
~ A new-found grasp or appreciation of one's mortality;
~ Believing that one's life has no purpose or external meaning;
~ Awareness of one's freedom and the consequences of accepting or rejecting
that freedom;
~ An extremely pleasurable or hurtful experience that leaves one seeking
meaning;
Regardless of what causes one, its always interesting the kinds of things a person thinks about while in the midst of one. Words like fate and destiny..concepts like God's will or freedom of choice...phrases like "finding yourself" or making a plan...They all surface and swirl around the individual in a maddening display!!
I go through an existential crisis every 3 or 4 days.
That might be a slight exaggeration, but I go through them a lot. Mostly in the morning...before I've gotten out of bed...especially during times where I hated what I was waking up to go do. I would think things like, "Why wake up?! Whats the POINT?! I'm working for the MAN...I've got no meaningful place in this world!!"
I have to be careful typing too many example thoughts thus throwing myself into another.
I was recently caught in a bit of turmoil while reading a book. There were lists and lists and examples of all kinds of unhealthy behavior patterns...like any good person studying psychological dysfunction I saw myself as possessing all of them. I was growing frustrated because there were things on the list that had made it onto other lists previously in my life...lists of personality traits. The author was essentially condemning my behavior as wrong because of elements of my personality. It was making me angry, but simultaneously hopeless. In short...I felt yuckers.
Today I started my day driving into work listening to Settlin' by Sugarland...Love that song...When I got there I took a moment reading phrases on pinterest to inspire me to work hard and I read, "Life isnt about finding yourself, its about creating yourself." That made me chuckle. True that, random author!
Then, as I frequently do when at my desk, I had a TED video playing in my headphones while I was working. In it, the director sought out a professional agency who could help him distinguish his "brand." If you're not familiar, there is now a craze where people are consciously assigning themselves branding terms to help them navigate more powerfully to the life they would most like to lead. Its a self-image kind of thing. For example...Perhaps I want to leave the world when I die and have people remember me as being "Playfully sophisticated," or "Inspiring and Reliable." Its really no more than assigning adjectives to yourself.
It made me think about my brand, of course. And I stared at a list of adjectives wondering which I most was. My heart gravitated to some...playful, nimble, contemplative...I felt the pressure to pick some for myself.
Then I thought back to the quote I saw, "Life isnt about finding yourself, its about creating yourself." And about the song I played on the radio this morning, "Its my life so its mine to make.."
But then I thought about that stupid book...so many of the behaviors I hold are driven by things that are deeply woven into my personality. Something I can't change...
All of that resulted in the following realization.
Life is what you create with the tools you have been given. You cannot will yourself to be a sculptor if you only have a brush. You cannot will yourself to be dentist if you only have a stethescope.
The thought is terribly unAmerican of me. We were taught that we could be ANYTHING we want to be! With hard work and determination we can do ALL THINGS...
If most of us were honest, we know that not to be true. As much as we would love to think that we can choose some adjectives and BECOME them...we have tried and failed and been left feeling heartbroken and inferior.
We tell ourselves that diversity is best but then resent ourselves for the very things that make us diverse. We all work toward the exact same goal believing the exact same things will make us happy. And we compare our lives to others believing what they have is what we should strive for because it would make us most happy...
Really, what would make us happiest is knowing ourselves and what tools we have, so that we know what kind of work we're capable of doing best.
If you've not been through one, its coming.
It's usually triggered by one of the following 5 things:
~ The sense of being alone and isolated in the world;
~ A new-found grasp or appreciation of one's mortality;
~ Believing that one's life has no purpose or external meaning;
~ Awareness of one's freedom and the consequences of accepting or rejecting
that freedom;
~ An extremely pleasurable or hurtful experience that leaves one seeking
meaning;
Regardless of what causes one, its always interesting the kinds of things a person thinks about while in the midst of one. Words like fate and destiny..concepts like God's will or freedom of choice...phrases like "finding yourself" or making a plan...They all surface and swirl around the individual in a maddening display!!
I go through an existential crisis every 3 or 4 days.
That might be a slight exaggeration, but I go through them a lot. Mostly in the morning...before I've gotten out of bed...especially during times where I hated what I was waking up to go do. I would think things like, "Why wake up?! Whats the POINT?! I'm working for the MAN...I've got no meaningful place in this world!!"
I have to be careful typing too many example thoughts thus throwing myself into another.
I was recently caught in a bit of turmoil while reading a book. There were lists and lists and examples of all kinds of unhealthy behavior patterns...like any good person studying psychological dysfunction I saw myself as possessing all of them. I was growing frustrated because there were things on the list that had made it onto other lists previously in my life...lists of personality traits. The author was essentially condemning my behavior as wrong because of elements of my personality. It was making me angry, but simultaneously hopeless. In short...I felt yuckers.
Today I started my day driving into work listening to Settlin' by Sugarland...Love that song...When I got there I took a moment reading phrases on pinterest to inspire me to work hard and I read, "Life isnt about finding yourself, its about creating yourself." That made me chuckle. True that, random author!
Then, as I frequently do when at my desk, I had a TED video playing in my headphones while I was working. In it, the director sought out a professional agency who could help him distinguish his "brand." If you're not familiar, there is now a craze where people are consciously assigning themselves branding terms to help them navigate more powerfully to the life they would most like to lead. Its a self-image kind of thing. For example...Perhaps I want to leave the world when I die and have people remember me as being "Playfully sophisticated," or "Inspiring and Reliable." Its really no more than assigning adjectives to yourself.
It made me think about my brand, of course. And I stared at a list of adjectives wondering which I most was. My heart gravitated to some...playful, nimble, contemplative...I felt the pressure to pick some for myself.
Then I thought back to the quote I saw, "Life isnt about finding yourself, its about creating yourself." And about the song I played on the radio this morning, "Its my life so its mine to make.."
But then I thought about that stupid book...so many of the behaviors I hold are driven by things that are deeply woven into my personality. Something I can't change...
All of that resulted in the following realization.
Life is what you create with the tools you have been given. You cannot will yourself to be a sculptor if you only have a brush. You cannot will yourself to be dentist if you only have a stethescope.
The thought is terribly unAmerican of me. We were taught that we could be ANYTHING we want to be! With hard work and determination we can do ALL THINGS...
If most of us were honest, we know that not to be true. As much as we would love to think that we can choose some adjectives and BECOME them...we have tried and failed and been left feeling heartbroken and inferior.
We tell ourselves that diversity is best but then resent ourselves for the very things that make us diverse. We all work toward the exact same goal believing the exact same things will make us happy. And we compare our lives to others believing what they have is what we should strive for because it would make us most happy...
Really, what would make us happiest is knowing ourselves and what tools we have, so that we know what kind of work we're capable of doing best.
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