200th Post! Creature of Habit vs Agent of Change
Happy 200th Post everyone! Mostly just me, I did it! lol.
I woke up this morning and noticed that I didn't recognize my own life. I dont know if you knew this, but a couple weeks ago, my apartment flooded and I got moved to a bigger place in the same area. That, coupled with a lot of other tiny little changes I had made in a previously controlled environment, left me feeling a little bit hollow, as though the life i were suddenly living werent my own at all.
I kind of laid there in my bed in the strange room staring at the new bit of ceiling wondering which of my now many rooms the dog had slept in. i think he's a little weirded out too..
And I felt very uncomfortable. I found myself longing for "the good old days." Essentially there was nothing particularly good about those days that wasnt completely available to me here in this new place.
i have no engine in this new place. I have no track record of success...i still cant find most things that I used to use on a regular basis. I felt terribly disjointed, discombobulated and disengaged. I did NOT know what to do with myself!!
I stayed there under the covers for a good hour.
Until I realized...Life as it had developed in that old space was fizzling. I was comfortable, and habituated to the point that I wasn't needing to try anything new...and nothing was progressing as it had when i first moved into that space. My life needed a huge change agent and I certainly got it.
And now everything is awkward. Not because I am not normally great at change, but because it happened out of my control, and out of my timeframe. But it did still happen...and now I have this great and shining opportunity to step back from life, survey the area, and decide exactly what new life is going to look like. How will my habits form in this new place? How will I design my life in this new place to not just be as good as the old, but even better?
I'm given to see chaos as a terrible disruption, I like my habits, and I like feeling safe and comfortable and knowing what to expect. But this time around, when the agent of change came in the form of disaster and ill-timed change, I'm choosing to see it more as an opportunity to create new order- to redesign- To refocus on the future, analyze what my goals REALLY are, and put this thing back together in such a way that it works even better than it had before.
I woke up this morning and noticed that I didn't recognize my own life. I dont know if you knew this, but a couple weeks ago, my apartment flooded and I got moved to a bigger place in the same area. That, coupled with a lot of other tiny little changes I had made in a previously controlled environment, left me feeling a little bit hollow, as though the life i were suddenly living werent my own at all.
I kind of laid there in my bed in the strange room staring at the new bit of ceiling wondering which of my now many rooms the dog had slept in. i think he's a little weirded out too..
And I felt very uncomfortable. I found myself longing for "the good old days." Essentially there was nothing particularly good about those days that wasnt completely available to me here in this new place.
i have no engine in this new place. I have no track record of success...i still cant find most things that I used to use on a regular basis. I felt terribly disjointed, discombobulated and disengaged. I did NOT know what to do with myself!!
I stayed there under the covers for a good hour.
Until I realized...Life as it had developed in that old space was fizzling. I was comfortable, and habituated to the point that I wasn't needing to try anything new...and nothing was progressing as it had when i first moved into that space. My life needed a huge change agent and I certainly got it.
And now everything is awkward. Not because I am not normally great at change, but because it happened out of my control, and out of my timeframe. But it did still happen...and now I have this great and shining opportunity to step back from life, survey the area, and decide exactly what new life is going to look like. How will my habits form in this new place? How will I design my life in this new place to not just be as good as the old, but even better?
I'm given to see chaos as a terrible disruption, I like my habits, and I like feeling safe and comfortable and knowing what to expect. But this time around, when the agent of change came in the form of disaster and ill-timed change, I'm choosing to see it more as an opportunity to create new order- to redesign- To refocus on the future, analyze what my goals REALLY are, and put this thing back together in such a way that it works even better than it had before.
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