An Open Letter to Tony Horton

My Dearest Tony,
These last 30 days together have been great. I've done a lot of things that I never thought I could do. Mostly just pushing play 6 days a week and working out for an hour at a time. It has been fun.
But...and there is always a but to these kinds of letters isnt there? I need more Tony. You tempted me so much with your infomercials of men and women transforming their bodies and you know, deep down in my heart, I do still believe. Its not you Tony, its me. I believe that you can change people with this program. I really do. its just that youre so nice Tony, and well, I'm ....I'm so fat and lazy...you say nice things like, Take your time...push pause if you need to, do as many as you can, and push pause if you get tired...and Well Tony, I dont need that kind of wuss opportunity. Because I listen...and I listen to the fatty inside of me.
It sounded so nice to work out "in the privacy of my own home" but the truth is Tony, I need the gawking judgemental eyes of strangers. I need the pressure of looking at the treadmill next to me and seeing what other people are doing. I need the humiliation and the inconvenience. I need to be shamed out of being fat. And you were just too nice to me.
I'll never forget our 30 days together. And all of your silly comments that I can now quote from memory. And maybe, you know, I'll go back to running and miss you...Maybe we can get together for plyometrics once in a while...or maybe when I grow more and I can find the strength of character to really push myself without anyone helping me, well maybe we can try again. But for now, as I am, well, it ends here.
I'm going to put your dvd's back on the shelf and head back to the gym without you.

regretfully,
jiggs.

Comments

Lori Dalton said…
I also look at the people on the treadmills and ellipticals next to me. I feel the need to compete with their speed and calories burned. Although today I ran next to a man who smelled like rotten slim jims when he sweated.
2:05 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

listless

I'm not sure what is going on in my head, but i'm very uninspired lately. i feel like there is so much more I should be doing, but its like i'm watching life from through a window. like i have no real impact on the story, i just sit and watch it unfold and hope the story starts getting adventurous. I'm chosing to call it uninspired because that still leaves the door open for me to have some kind of impact. Like if i could just muster up some passion for something I would be able to find some great purpose and meaning in what I'm doing. I'm thinking about all the kids going back to school and the college students heading off for a new year, and I'm finding that I'm jealous. My life doesnt cycle like that anymore. There is no rise and fall with the seasons. There is no connection to the calendar. Everyday bleeds by in the same numbing pattern. My clothes barely even change with seasons anymore. everyday finds itself looking exactly like the last: wake up l...
Read more

whats your self worth?

People have said, something is only worth what someone would pay for it. If what you're selling, no one is buying, then what you have is pretty worthless. But there are stores out there that sell all kinds of things and so the market makes room for them. People are the same. Some people are beautiful, but useless for more than their looks. Like a painting they are worth a lot because people see them as rare.But, some people can go their whole lives without decorating. Some people are useful and so are worth a lot because they fulfill some purpose. Hardworking, or smart, they are seen has having some value that makes them worth the investment. Then there are people I'd characterize as novelty people. You buy them because you've just never seen anything like them. They're especially entertaing or unique. They don't cost a lot, so you can't pass them up. Then there are bargain people. They don't cost much, arent worth much and don't last long. They fill a s...
Read more

Musical Unity: A response to Michael Gungor

When I first started listening to Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) the only people around were Amy Grant and Michael W Smith. Maybe Kathy Tricolli and Sandi Patty...Any maybe Carmen, but why mention Carmen? Shortly before I started listening to CCM there was no such thing as CCM. The 80s were just about a barren wasteland for Christian entertainment. We had a handle on good old Gospel and regular people started writing worship music. My life wouldn't be the same without Keith Green. But then came the 90s. WHAT an AMAZING time!! Right? DC talk, Audio Adrenaline, Newsboys, OC Supertones...Holy Music COW! If you were a young Christian, you could turn your radio up proudly and still feel cool. It was EPIC. From 15-21 I didn't listen to much other than CCM. Only the cool CCM of course. The stuff that the local Christian radio station only played on Friday Nights. Then I hit 21 and was, practically overnight, too cool for CCM. I bought a soapbox on top of which I declared ...
Read more