God's Word and my nick nack paddy wack sack of crap soul.

In my endless pursuit of knowledge and experience, you would think I would have unveiled some never before heard of deep mystery. But really, I've only been wronga lot. In the end, I've always come back to four things.

1. People suck.
We try to be good. We end in defeat, despair and discouragement; broken and writhing in pain both from what we do to ourselves and what we've had others do to us...because people suck.

2. God does not suck.
Though at times we shake our fists and say good golly we're mad...(shameless jewel quote) and we look to him to be our vendor, our genie, our good luck token and he fails to deliver the selfish desires of our hearts (see number one) He is good. He is wise. He is beautiful. He is God.

3. God loves us.
Who knows why. Maybe its only because we're his children and its hard to hate your children, but for whatever omnipotent, omniscient, omni-everything reason, God looks on us with love. Go figure.

4. Jesus died so that me and God could hang out.
I suck, and he doesn't. Everyone knows the cool kids can't hang out with the losers, and that you can't go to Harvard unless you're smart. So God became man, dwelt among us and set it up so that my hopeless, helpless, selfish, filthy self could spend time with Him, and feel on my own this awesome thing that is His love for me. Thankfully, my scholarship to the University of a Relationship with God, isn't based on the grades I make as a Christian.

Other than that...I'm at a loss. I like to think I know. I like to believe that I'm so awesomely smart that I can understand the Bible and wrap my brain around how God could use imperfection to accomplish a perfect plan. I've spent years trying to figure out how to be better, how to be holier, how to love others better...and I always seem to come out on the bottom. I don't know if maybe God's greatest plan is to get me to and keep me in a place where I realize how genuinely worthless I am on my own..(and then use me for some awesome radical movement (that hopefully includes some kind of key signature)) or if this is it. If the Glory days are over and I forced Him to play His "working all things together for good" card too many times and He's just tired of it.

I dont know how God works together predestination and free will...I dont know what I think about eternal security...I dont know what i think about who I should love, how much, why and what for...I dont know what I think about the crusades, or how God allowed Hilter to exist...I dont know how to answer people's questions about their imperfections and God's design...I dont know how to confront war, politics or injustice from a truly Christian perspective.


But i know those four things.

And those four things convince me to love you...because God, who is way better than I am does. And that's good enough for me.

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