Changing the prayer.

When I ask for things, you know. You know if youre going to give them to me, yes. But you also know if i really want them. Because you know me. You know the me beneath my disorders. You know the me under my breath. You know the me without insecurity. You know the me without a lie. You know what is genuine. You know what is jealous. You know what is pity. You know what is victim.

You know what would make me smile. You know what would break my heart.You know what would leave me wanting.You know what would fill me up. You know what is sinner and you know what is saint.

And when I ask you for something, sometimes its because of jealousy; sometimes its because of greed. Sometimes I think I just know better. Sometimes I want validated. Even though I can't tell, you know the difference and know when to give and when to withhold.

So...knowing these things about you, instead of me presenting you with my laundry list of requests..Maybe you could just give me one thing...Show me more of who you are....So that I can just trust in what seems like only rumored lovingkindness, and relinquish some of the burden to make my life impressive to you and me and others. Impress upon me how well you know me and how much you've crafted my soul for this life with intention. Impress upon me how purposefully I've been placed, and how strategically I am moved.

Comments

Miss Sally said…
I want to also include me in much of those expressed words to God Jennifer! I am grateful that life lived this long has brought me to a place of more peace than before! Trust Jen, trust and obey! There is really no other way to be happy in Jesus and feel solidly, securely His love!

Much love and our prayers!
Miss Sally (and Pastor Paul)
5:53 PM
pat simoneau said…
Beautiful, Jiggs! He's answering the prayers of others in what you have written!
Love you!
patter
11:01 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

listless

I'm not sure what is going on in my head, but i'm very uninspired lately. i feel like there is so much more I should be doing, but its like i'm watching life from through a window. like i have no real impact on the story, i just sit and watch it unfold and hope the story starts getting adventurous. I'm chosing to call it uninspired because that still leaves the door open for me to have some kind of impact. Like if i could just muster up some passion for something I would be able to find some great purpose and meaning in what I'm doing. I'm thinking about all the kids going back to school and the college students heading off for a new year, and I'm finding that I'm jealous. My life doesnt cycle like that anymore. There is no rise and fall with the seasons. There is no connection to the calendar. Everyday bleeds by in the same numbing pattern. My clothes barely even change with seasons anymore. everyday finds itself looking exactly like the last: wake up l...
Read more

whats your self worth?

People have said, something is only worth what someone would pay for it. If what you're selling, no one is buying, then what you have is pretty worthless. But there are stores out there that sell all kinds of things and so the market makes room for them. People are the same. Some people are beautiful, but useless for more than their looks. Like a painting they are worth a lot because people see them as rare.But, some people can go their whole lives without decorating. Some people are useful and so are worth a lot because they fulfill some purpose. Hardworking, or smart, they are seen has having some value that makes them worth the investment. Then there are people I'd characterize as novelty people. You buy them because you've just never seen anything like them. They're especially entertaing or unique. They don't cost a lot, so you can't pass them up. Then there are bargain people. They don't cost much, arent worth much and don't last long. They fill a s...
Read more

Musical Unity: A response to Michael Gungor

When I first started listening to Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) the only people around were Amy Grant and Michael W Smith. Maybe Kathy Tricolli and Sandi Patty...Any maybe Carmen, but why mention Carmen? Shortly before I started listening to CCM there was no such thing as CCM. The 80s were just about a barren wasteland for Christian entertainment. We had a handle on good old Gospel and regular people started writing worship music. My life wouldn't be the same without Keith Green. But then came the 90s. WHAT an AMAZING time!! Right? DC talk, Audio Adrenaline, Newsboys, OC Supertones...Holy Music COW! If you were a young Christian, you could turn your radio up proudly and still feel cool. It was EPIC. From 15-21 I didn't listen to much other than CCM. Only the cool CCM of course. The stuff that the local Christian radio station only played on Friday Nights. Then I hit 21 and was, practically overnight, too cool for CCM. I bought a soapbox on top of which I declared ...
Read more