You dont have to want to, You just have to have to.
I've been making a lot of consistenly good choices this year. I dont know if i would call what I'm doing sticking to new years resolutions or what, but i've really been enjoying this ride.
it started with joining weight watchers. The epic battle finally ended between the me that feels like she knows it all and the me that needed someone else to tell me exactly what to do to be who i wanted me to be. I let this organization tell me exactly what to do and i did little else. Every week they have added a little something new and pushed just lightly enough that it seemed ridiculously easy and so i would do it. This frog started boiling before i new i was in water.
I started doing their running program..and at first it was ridiculously easy, and i would roll my eyes... 5 weeks later i'm up to 30 minutes of running during a work out. I've never done that before.
years and years I had this mental image of what i could be. what my potential was. it was a ridiculous notion of a tall skinny tan girl who was outside all the time and drove a jeep. She runs and does all kinds of random sportsy stuff and has a generally great time. And eats weird stuff like granola and jicama...i still cant find the jicama...But dangit if i not only see that notion as NOT ridiculous, but i'm frikken halfway there!
Its like i've been asleep and all of these awesome changes have been taking place with no effort on my behalf. I wake up everyday amazed to stand on the scale and see if go down. I wake up happy to challenge myself to do more and eat less and wear tighter clothes. The dream is slowly becoming a reality. I've also been pricing jeeps.
I honestly try to put it into words, or to map out the motivation plan...give definition to where the desire and strength have come from. and i really dont know.
I remember back in the day I would try to change and end up lying more about my progress than anything. I lied so much about workout distances and times, diets and the numbers on the scale that i really dont remember how much or how little i actually did and i couldnt tell you what I weighed back then because even my license was a lie. (it still is a lie, but in the other direction now...hehe)
I've been asked a lot over the last few weeks how i've gotten where i am. and I tell people what they want to here...Its been SO much easier than I thought...I just made small changes and it showed in big ways. Thats the truth really. Then they ask me something like well what did you eat today? I can't answer that for them...because when I tell you what I'm eating now, salads and whole grains and water and fruits and veggies and nuts and berries, people think automatically...IMPOSSIBLE...but really I started by eating ice cream two and three times a day...and I started looking for how many points were in a snickers ..because I wanted the dang snickers. It wasnt what I was eating, it was a consciousness about what I was eating and a constant fear of looking Robin in the eye after gaining. Over 17 weeks I have slowly changed what I eat and now Its mostly vegetables and fruits and yogurts and nuts and nutrition bars...but i didnt make that happen over night.
So when people ask how I've done it, depending on who they are, I give them one of the following answers. You, because I love you most, will get all of them. Because thats the real change.
1. Robin looking me in the eye every week. Ok, at first it was Luke, then Paul and now its Robin, but its the fact that every Saturday AM someone looks me in the eye to hold me accountable. And I dont know them personally, but we're getting to know each other and I fear them. :) A healthy Fear.
2. Friends and Family struggling together. My whole environment changed. Everywhere I went people were talking ww talk and getting pumped. It was unavoidable. If everyone in your life doenst change though its still possible. Just constantly reach out to the one or two people who will let you talk about your new life constantly, until you dont need that outside encouragement anymore. And reach out to them before you pull in line at the drive thru...not after.
3. Healthy Competition. Those friends and family i just mentioned...I'll be honest. I compete with them. Some of them I'll never catch and some I'm doing better than. I run towards the people ahead of me...and get pushed forward by the thought that someone is chasing me down too.
4. Grace. I've given myself grace. Eat too much? Grace. Skip a workout? Grace. Didnt write down what I ate? Grace. Gain a pound? Grace. because in life grace is required. Whether its health or wealth or spirituality..>Grace is Necessary. Just ask Jesus. I let myself fail. And I even have one day where I just decide not to care at all. And when I mess up outside of that one day I give grace. I dont call myself bad names and say I cant do it, and that I'm a fatty lazy loser. Cuz I'm not. I'm just regular.
5. Honesty. I have tried this stuff in the past, using all the elements mentioned above and gotten nowhere. Because I would lie about my progress both to myself and to the people doing it with me. I would lie now and promise to do the lie later so that it wouldnt hold me back. I would say i ran a whole mile on monday and promise myself I would do it on tuesday and then something would happen and I wouldnt get to. And I got behind. And I never succeeded. I would tell people it baffled me and i must not be like everyone else to work so hard and not see progress. But I knew...I knew it was me... So now, I rarely talk about my exercise feats. Mostly because they arent that impressive and people all around me are working way harder. But also because it doesnt matter what you think. And what do you care if I only run 2.51 miles in 30 minutes, or if I skip a leg of the training, or I dont go lift weights. You dont...Only I really care..and It really only matters to me. So I mostly only tell myself and a couple of my closest friends. And I know we're pretty concerned.
6. Time. This is the hardest thing to give myself because I really want to be done now. And there are people all around me doing that creapers diet where you get injected with hormones and lose several pounds a week while eating just a can of tuna a day. They will reach their goals long before I do...and thats their story. There are even people who are doing the exact same diet as me and they are getting to their goals earlier than I am. but thats their story. Mine takes time. I lose a pound or two a week...sometimes 3, once i lost 4.8...once i gained .8...but its my story in my time. I've got my whole life to get there. Sure I would like to be skinny before I'm so old I can't enjoy it. So what like skinny before 88? But I have to do this everyday forever, so I need to be comfortable...and if it takes time, then thats what it takes. The beauty is, I've started, and time is the only thing in the way. There is no more looking to the future and saying, ok, if the reunion is in 3 months, and I start my diet monday I could lose 24 lbs before then...I look forward at 3 months and think...gee, i wonder what I'll weigh then? Because it WILL be different.
I heard a quote once about not letting good get in the way of great. the author of the quote was intending to show us that most of us settle for acceptable when we could strive for greatness. That has never been my problem. No no...not that I never settle...but that I dont aim for good because I want to wait for great. Good isnt enough to make the effort. I'll only make the effort for great...which really just meant I've never made the effort.
Now, I just reach...and if every time I reach as far as I can..then what I end up with WILL be great. Because its my very best. And if its better than you, awesome, if youre better than me...awesome.
The most important thing is...I'm better than I was.
it started with joining weight watchers. The epic battle finally ended between the me that feels like she knows it all and the me that needed someone else to tell me exactly what to do to be who i wanted me to be. I let this organization tell me exactly what to do and i did little else. Every week they have added a little something new and pushed just lightly enough that it seemed ridiculously easy and so i would do it. This frog started boiling before i new i was in water.
I started doing their running program..and at first it was ridiculously easy, and i would roll my eyes... 5 weeks later i'm up to 30 minutes of running during a work out. I've never done that before.
years and years I had this mental image of what i could be. what my potential was. it was a ridiculous notion of a tall skinny tan girl who was outside all the time and drove a jeep. She runs and does all kinds of random sportsy stuff and has a generally great time. And eats weird stuff like granola and jicama...i still cant find the jicama...But dangit if i not only see that notion as NOT ridiculous, but i'm frikken halfway there!
Its like i've been asleep and all of these awesome changes have been taking place with no effort on my behalf. I wake up everyday amazed to stand on the scale and see if go down. I wake up happy to challenge myself to do more and eat less and wear tighter clothes. The dream is slowly becoming a reality. I've also been pricing jeeps.
I honestly try to put it into words, or to map out the motivation plan...give definition to where the desire and strength have come from. and i really dont know.
I remember back in the day I would try to change and end up lying more about my progress than anything. I lied so much about workout distances and times, diets and the numbers on the scale that i really dont remember how much or how little i actually did and i couldnt tell you what I weighed back then because even my license was a lie. (it still is a lie, but in the other direction now...hehe)
I've been asked a lot over the last few weeks how i've gotten where i am. and I tell people what they want to here...Its been SO much easier than I thought...I just made small changes and it showed in big ways. Thats the truth really. Then they ask me something like well what did you eat today? I can't answer that for them...because when I tell you what I'm eating now, salads and whole grains and water and fruits and veggies and nuts and berries, people think automatically...IMPOSSIBLE...but really I started by eating ice cream two and three times a day...and I started looking for how many points were in a snickers ..because I wanted the dang snickers. It wasnt what I was eating, it was a consciousness about what I was eating and a constant fear of looking Robin in the eye after gaining. Over 17 weeks I have slowly changed what I eat and now Its mostly vegetables and fruits and yogurts and nuts and nutrition bars...but i didnt make that happen over night.
So when people ask how I've done it, depending on who they are, I give them one of the following answers. You, because I love you most, will get all of them. Because thats the real change.
1. Robin looking me in the eye every week. Ok, at first it was Luke, then Paul and now its Robin, but its the fact that every Saturday AM someone looks me in the eye to hold me accountable. And I dont know them personally, but we're getting to know each other and I fear them. :) A healthy Fear.
2. Friends and Family struggling together. My whole environment changed. Everywhere I went people were talking ww talk and getting pumped. It was unavoidable. If everyone in your life doenst change though its still possible. Just constantly reach out to the one or two people who will let you talk about your new life constantly, until you dont need that outside encouragement anymore. And reach out to them before you pull in line at the drive thru...not after.
3. Healthy Competition. Those friends and family i just mentioned...I'll be honest. I compete with them. Some of them I'll never catch and some I'm doing better than. I run towards the people ahead of me...and get pushed forward by the thought that someone is chasing me down too.
4. Grace. I've given myself grace. Eat too much? Grace. Skip a workout? Grace. Didnt write down what I ate? Grace. Gain a pound? Grace. because in life grace is required. Whether its health or wealth or spirituality..>Grace is Necessary. Just ask Jesus. I let myself fail. And I even have one day where I just decide not to care at all. And when I mess up outside of that one day I give grace. I dont call myself bad names and say I cant do it, and that I'm a fatty lazy loser. Cuz I'm not. I'm just regular.
5. Honesty. I have tried this stuff in the past, using all the elements mentioned above and gotten nowhere. Because I would lie about my progress both to myself and to the people doing it with me. I would lie now and promise to do the lie later so that it wouldnt hold me back. I would say i ran a whole mile on monday and promise myself I would do it on tuesday and then something would happen and I wouldnt get to. And I got behind. And I never succeeded. I would tell people it baffled me and i must not be like everyone else to work so hard and not see progress. But I knew...I knew it was me... So now, I rarely talk about my exercise feats. Mostly because they arent that impressive and people all around me are working way harder. But also because it doesnt matter what you think. And what do you care if I only run 2.51 miles in 30 minutes, or if I skip a leg of the training, or I dont go lift weights. You dont...Only I really care..and It really only matters to me. So I mostly only tell myself and a couple of my closest friends. And I know we're pretty concerned.
6. Time. This is the hardest thing to give myself because I really want to be done now. And there are people all around me doing that creapers diet where you get injected with hormones and lose several pounds a week while eating just a can of tuna a day. They will reach their goals long before I do...and thats their story. There are even people who are doing the exact same diet as me and they are getting to their goals earlier than I am. but thats their story. Mine takes time. I lose a pound or two a week...sometimes 3, once i lost 4.8...once i gained .8...but its my story in my time. I've got my whole life to get there. Sure I would like to be skinny before I'm so old I can't enjoy it. So what like skinny before 88? But I have to do this everyday forever, so I need to be comfortable...and if it takes time, then thats what it takes. The beauty is, I've started, and time is the only thing in the way. There is no more looking to the future and saying, ok, if the reunion is in 3 months, and I start my diet monday I could lose 24 lbs before then...I look forward at 3 months and think...gee, i wonder what I'll weigh then? Because it WILL be different.
I heard a quote once about not letting good get in the way of great. the author of the quote was intending to show us that most of us settle for acceptable when we could strive for greatness. That has never been my problem. No no...not that I never settle...but that I dont aim for good because I want to wait for great. Good isnt enough to make the effort. I'll only make the effort for great...which really just meant I've never made the effort.
Now, I just reach...and if every time I reach as far as I can..then what I end up with WILL be great. Because its my very best. And if its better than you, awesome, if youre better than me...awesome.
The most important thing is...I'm better than I was.
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