All the things you're thinking.
Last week I attended a training class. It was training on how to be a good trainer. Is that irony? I dunno. But it was a fun class. It got me all excited about this new job and all the awesomeness it contains. It was also exhausting!! My brain just exploded with information! I've trained several classes, and attended even more and I had no idea what kind of effort went into just the act of standing in front of the room to say something. These folks were thinking about what their hands were doing, what their feet were doing, how long they were making eye contact, how fast or slow they were talking, what their clothes were doing, what their voice was sounding like...and on and on...it was amazing!
But, as all things seem to do, it got me thinking. It got me thinking about all the things I think about. There are things that I say I believe, but that are really very much in process. There are a few things I know completely, and places where my mind conflicts with my heart. In that conflict, I often have to chose quickly who wins in any given situation.
What, you need an example? Ok, I'll give you a few. Let's just preface this discussion with the fact that I'm telling you about things on which I feel conflicted, this means that you can give me your two cents, but I'm pretty sure I have your two cents already, and I'm still conflicted. So, you're going to have to deal with me not landing in the same place as you. Because I won't be.
So here's an example, How about politics. I hate politics. I know there are elements that change my life and have an effect on my day, but I don't trust a single person in washington. And I don't trust people who are unnaturally passionate about politics. Mostly because those people tend to fall on an extreme. I don't care that I'm a Christian, I'm not a conservative. But just because I'm not conservative, does not mean I'm a liberal. At the end of the day, both of you get on my nerves because it seems in the end, your only real goal is to inhilliate the other. I can't get on board with that, sorry. I don't like our government for the most part, I think its too friggen big! I think half of them should be laid off and find real jobs.
That was example one. Do you see what I mean? I've not made my mind up at all really. So who ever I talk to during the course of my life, I understand and have a sense of compassion for, but I don't totally agree with. What I've not stopped doing, is considering my options.
How bout my gay friends? I'm a christian alright. It looks to me like that should mean we would be on different teams altogether. But I love you. I honestly don't care who you fall in love with and sleep with. I know some of my conservative friends just passed out. So we'll keep talking until they come to. I love you guys. You're beautiful men and women. I'm not disgusted by you, and I feel a great sense of honor that you're my friends. There is a faith deeply seeded within me that condemns what you do as wrong. But its that same faith that compells me to love you, and serve you. And its both of those feelings that lie in conflict together in the same bed at night. I don't know what to do with them, and I doubt either opinion will ever win the battle. But I hope all of my friends, whether gay or straight, christian or not respect the wrestle.
All of these examples really converge into a thought that has been rolling over and over in my head lately. We all have two people living our lives, the person we are and the person we are percieved to be. And its easy to walk through this world condemning one another for who we percieve each other to be. But the reality is, though on the outside there is one person, deeper still is the bottom of us all where wars are waged and few people get to see. And that is the place we should seek to find in others. The place where their soul forms, where their heart cries and where they are their purest self and where they lie in constant evolution, constantly seeking what is right and true.
It is that self, that needs God the most.
But, as all things seem to do, it got me thinking. It got me thinking about all the things I think about. There are things that I say I believe, but that are really very much in process. There are a few things I know completely, and places where my mind conflicts with my heart. In that conflict, I often have to chose quickly who wins in any given situation.
What, you need an example? Ok, I'll give you a few. Let's just preface this discussion with the fact that I'm telling you about things on which I feel conflicted, this means that you can give me your two cents, but I'm pretty sure I have your two cents already, and I'm still conflicted. So, you're going to have to deal with me not landing in the same place as you. Because I won't be.
So here's an example, How about politics. I hate politics. I know there are elements that change my life and have an effect on my day, but I don't trust a single person in washington. And I don't trust people who are unnaturally passionate about politics. Mostly because those people tend to fall on an extreme. I don't care that I'm a Christian, I'm not a conservative. But just because I'm not conservative, does not mean I'm a liberal. At the end of the day, both of you get on my nerves because it seems in the end, your only real goal is to inhilliate the other. I can't get on board with that, sorry. I don't like our government for the most part, I think its too friggen big! I think half of them should be laid off and find real jobs.
That was example one. Do you see what I mean? I've not made my mind up at all really. So who ever I talk to during the course of my life, I understand and have a sense of compassion for, but I don't totally agree with. What I've not stopped doing, is considering my options.
How bout my gay friends? I'm a christian alright. It looks to me like that should mean we would be on different teams altogether. But I love you. I honestly don't care who you fall in love with and sleep with. I know some of my conservative friends just passed out. So we'll keep talking until they come to. I love you guys. You're beautiful men and women. I'm not disgusted by you, and I feel a great sense of honor that you're my friends. There is a faith deeply seeded within me that condemns what you do as wrong. But its that same faith that compells me to love you, and serve you. And its both of those feelings that lie in conflict together in the same bed at night. I don't know what to do with them, and I doubt either opinion will ever win the battle. But I hope all of my friends, whether gay or straight, christian or not respect the wrestle.
All of these examples really converge into a thought that has been rolling over and over in my head lately. We all have two people living our lives, the person we are and the person we are percieved to be. And its easy to walk through this world condemning one another for who we percieve each other to be. But the reality is, though on the outside there is one person, deeper still is the bottom of us all where wars are waged and few people get to see. And that is the place we should seek to find in others. The place where their soul forms, where their heart cries and where they are their purest self and where they lie in constant evolution, constantly seeking what is right and true.
It is that self, that needs God the most.
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