Ever so Slightly more confidence

So Betsy and I were talking last night about the way I tick. I was given the assignment of thinking about myself.
Here's what it is.
I have one of three conditions: Habitual Procrastination, Fear of Rejection/Failure, or I'm Lazy.

None of these is really pretty. In fact, only the second would be clinical enough to have sympathy for. But the basic problem is this....I put off that which would add to the quality of my life and skill just long enough to barely survive the task I've set before myself. FOR many examples: I do things like half-marathons, and train just enough, if at all to cross the finishline; I wait and wait and wait to clean my house until minutes before someone shows up; I don't play guitar until there's a show on the horizon; I don't walk the dog until he's driving me absolutely crazy.

Now....the question is...Why?

I KNOW that if i train more, I'll feel and do better at races....I know if I clean more, I'll have a nicer house and find stuff better....I know if I practice guitar more I'd be famous...(well almost) and I know if I walked the dog regularly he'd be happier, and my stuff would last longer....


So....the question is...Why?

What a question. It feels like a loaded question. Just the thought of answering it makes me feel like I'll have to work harder...which makes me believe that I'm just lazy... But what feels so bad about working harder?

If anyone knows what this is...let me know...because I'm tired of thinking about it...hehe.

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